I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize