I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
