is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
