New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
