You're completely useless in the revolution.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
