Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
