Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
