'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
