so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
