I'm passing your future prison.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
