thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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