carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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