ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I touched a dick in church today
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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