p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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