oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fuck appropriateness.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Boobs speak an international language.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You've changed since you got that strap on
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
