Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
