i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
