So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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