let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
