do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
