He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
