So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
