Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
