she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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