you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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