Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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