don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
