I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
