Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
