i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
