Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
