Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize