dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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