Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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