she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
