am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
