Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
