I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
