Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
