I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
