The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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