I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
