We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
