she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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