I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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