I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
