WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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