Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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