does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
