fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
