She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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