well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
