I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize