She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
