You can't motorboat a personality
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
