Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
