I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
