Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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