it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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